








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 26 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 69 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1220 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,597 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1198 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1277 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1597 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1525 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $230,642 of utility $71 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 5 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mvrio | 62% | 13 |
| #2 | B3t4lerT | 49% | 49 |
| #3 | LordKtullu | 44% | 99 |
| #4 | ULTR4 | 43% | 91 |
| #5 | CarolCaju | 38% | 152 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | ULTR4 | 43% | 91 |
| #5 | CarolCaju | 38% | 152 |
| #6 | Silvestre | 37% | 38 |
| #7 | Ultramari | 32% | 25 |
| #8 | Alerta Vermelho | 29% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CarolCaju | 8 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | ULTR4 | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | B3t4lerT | 3 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | Silvestre | 3 | 0.0041 |
| #5 | Alerta Vermelho | 3 | 0.0065 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CarolCaju | 178 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #2 | B3t4lerT | 104 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #3 | Alerta Vermelho | 65 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #4 | LordKtullu | 48 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #5 | ULTR4 | 27 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | B3t4lerT | +3.28 | 58 | 72 |
| #2 | Alerta Vermelho | +2.21 | 55 | 68 |
| #3 | ULTR4 | +0.42 | 31 | 51 |
| #4 | Ultramari | +0.01 | 17 | 49 |
| #5 | LordKtullu | -0.51 | 49 | 58 |





