








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 352 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 72 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2282 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,304 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 590 | 7% |
| Smokes | 3475 | 42% |
| HE Grenades | 2226 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2013 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,800,030 of utility $268 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 6 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ULTR4 | 57% | 35 |
| #2 | hykazy | 53% | 19 |
| #3 | Carlton Banks | 44% | 97 |
| #4 | Lamarr | 42% | 97 |
| #5 | CarolCaju | 38% | 226 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | defe.gabriel | 33% | 24 |
| #8 | Loki | 32% | 25 |
| #9 | B3t4lerT | 28% | 18 |
| #10 | LordKtullu | 18% | 34 |
| #11 | mersinho | 10% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CarolCaju | 10 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | Carlton Banks | 4 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | Loki | 3 | 0.0062 |
| #4 | hykazy | 3 | 0.0074 |
| #5 | JuninL | 2 | 0.0041 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CarolCaju | 211 | 0.05 | 6 min |
| #2 | Carlton Banks | 174 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #3 | Lamarr | 129 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #4 | ULTR4 | 108 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #5 | hykazy | 63 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ULTR4 | +3.44 | 57 | 71 |
| #2 | B3t4lerT | +1.62 | 54 | 74 |
| #3 | Carlton Banks | +0.09 | 38 | 68 |
| #4 | Ultramari | -0.01 | 29 | 48 |
| #5 | JuninL | -0.27 | 32 | 50 |





