








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 443 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 191 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 87 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3335 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,601 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1086 | 9% |
| Smokes | 5080 | 40% |
| HE Grenades | 3461 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2974 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,122,159 of utility $227 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 9 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JuninL | 63% | 27 |
| #2 | Carlton Banks | 59% | 76 |
| #3 | Ultramari | 57% | 35 |
| #4 | Lamarr | 54% | 89 |
| #5 | mvrio | 47% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | LordKtullu | 44% | 153 |
| #8 | Silvestre | 43% | 79 |
| #9 | Loki | 43% | 91 |
| #10 | CarolCaju | 41% | 351 |
| #11 | defe.gabriel | 40% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CarolCaju | 10 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | Loki | 9 | 0.0049 |
| #3 | LordKtullu | 4 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | Carlton Banks | 4 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | Lamarr | 3 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CarolCaju | 306 | 0.04 | 8 min |
| #2 | Loki | 232 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #3 | Lamarr | 140 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #4 | B3t4lerT | 134 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #5 | Carlton Banks | 100 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | B3t4lerT | +2.38 | 57 | 73 |
| #2 | ULTR4 | +1.22 | 33 | 51 |
| #3 | Carlton Banks | +1.10 | 42 | 68 |
| #4 | JuninL | +0.17 | 43 | 55 |
| #5 | LordKtullu | -0.06 | 46 | 55 |





