








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 50 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 193 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




46 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2493 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,110 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1232 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1742 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 909 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 1227 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $495,333 of utility $104 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 151 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ARTIFICE | 59% | 32 |
| #2 | brandy alexander | 59% | 27 |
| #3 | homeless bum | 53% | 202 |
| #4 | hs4v | 52% | 120 |
| #5 | b3t | 51% | 119 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | hs4v | 52% | 120 |
| #5 | b3t | 51% | 119 |
| #6 | haoxin | 50% | 16 |
| #7 | Jsun | 46% | 13 |
| #8 | deedle | 46% | 124 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | b3t | 39 | 0.0160 |
| #2 | homeless bum | 21 | 0.0053 |
| #3 | hs4v | 21 | 0.0088 |
| #4 | deedle | 6 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | brandy alexander | 2 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | b3t | 524 | 0.21 | 12 min |
| #2 | hs4v | 475 | 0.20 | 10 min |
| #3 | homeless bum | 419 | 0.11 | 10 min |
| #4 | deedle | 189 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #5 | ARTIFICE | 104 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | b3t | +2.49 | 81 | 60 |
| #2 | labob | +2.04 | 77 | 41 |
| #3 | brandy alexander | +0.77 | 68 | 59 |
| #4 | homeless bum | -0.02 | 61 | 56 |
| #5 | ARTIFICE | -0.62 | 73 | 48 |





