








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 101 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 202 matches | ||
| Premier | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2440 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,683 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2075 | 24% |
| Smokes | 2225 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2054 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2329 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $253,345 of utility $50 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 128 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | v1nci | 55% | 66 |
| #2 | virne ;) | 53% | 58 |
| #3 | -Ek- | 53% | 79 |
| #4 | y | 52% | 126 |
| #5 | kassu69 | 48% | 77 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | y | 52% | 126 |
| #5 | kassu69 | 48% | 77 |
| #6 | Lape | 44% | 54 |
| #7 | Re1n | 44% | 87 |
| #8 | F O R E X Q | 33% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kassu69 | 4 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | y | 2 | 0.0007 |
| #3 | -Ek- | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | Re1n | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Re1n | 295 | 0.16 | 8 min |
| #2 | kassu69 | 280 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #3 | y | 139 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #4 | v1nci | 121 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #5 | -Ek- | 77 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -Ek- | +2.13 | 88 | 48 |
| #2 | kassu69 | +1.96 | 67 | 65 |
| #3 | F O R E X Q | +1.86 | 51 | 56 |
| #4 | v1nci | +1.30 | 76 | 65 |
| #5 | StarBoY | +0.25 | 56 | 65 |





