








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 145 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 119 matches | ||
| Faceit | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1658 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,769 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2060 | 23% |
| Smokes | 2530 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2361 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1818 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,155,002 of utility $206 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 67 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | T-1 | 41% | 108 |
| #11 | Naiguli | 40% | 60 |
| #12 | Drowzard | 39% | 31 |
| #13 | suti | 35% | 75 |
| #14 | jerkkola | 30% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Leevileipuri | 5 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | asennusvelho | 4 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | T-1 | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | Firekki | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | suti | 2 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | asennusvelho | 691 | 0.33 | 18 min |
| #2 | suti | 420 | 0.28 | 11 min |
| #3 | Leevileipuri | 402 | 0.14 | 13 min |
| #4 | Hevi | 381 | 0.15 | 10 min |
| #5 | fantti | 278 | 0.15 | 9 min |





