








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 29 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 152 matches | ||
| Faceit | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1480 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,835 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 570 | 7% |
| Smokes | 890 | 11% |
| HE Grenades | 3152 | 40% |
| Molotovs | 3223 | 41% |
Our logs show you have wasted $275,490 of utility $58 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 10 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ich kann laufen | weg.de | 68% | 31 |
| #2 | Carl Gallagher | 58% | 19 |
| #3 | Tom | 54% | 92 |
| #4 | whatisupboizz | 54% | 72 |
| #5 | NoX Reflex | 51% | 85 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | whatisupboizz | 144 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #2 | Tom | 70 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #3 | NoX Reflex | 67 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #4 | Ich kann laufen | weg.de | 57 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | NoN4ME37 | 50 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pussy hunter | +3.91 | 43 | 39 |
| #2 | Carl Gallagher | +3.12 | 37 | 40 |
| #3 | Tom | +2.90 | 45 | 36 |
| #4 | Ich kann laufen | weg.de | +2.85 | 77 | 62 |
| #5 | NoX Reflex | +0.29 | 47 | 23 |





