








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 3144 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 1201 matches | ||
| Wingman | 176 matches | ||
| Faceit | 113 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 89 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 23 different maps





Our logs show 419 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




194 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
18876 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 38,191 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6872 | 18% |
| Smokes | 7768 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 11250 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 12301 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $8,513,549 of utility $212 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 5548 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...





