








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 439 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
629 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,106 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 298 | 27% |
| Smokes | 394 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 201 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 213 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $231,738 of utility $203 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 35 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | kuth | 64% | 44 |
| #7 | yuta | 63% | 32 |
| #8 | Mr. Wide | 62% | 13 |
| #9 | Ferro | 60% | 10 |
| #10 | Rise | 40% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kuth | 5 | 0.0058 |
| #2 | yuta | 3 | 0.0046 |
| #3 | JohnERico | 2 | 0.0100 |
| #4 | JohnERico2nd | 1 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | Sheep | 1 | 0.0139 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kuth | 73 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #2 | yuta | 48 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #3 | JohnERico2nd | 33 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #4 | JohnERico | 20 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | Ferro | 18 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Niloc | +5.03 | 93 | 53 |
| #2 | JohnERico2nd | +3.71 | 73 | 70 |
| #3 | JohnERico | +2.24 | 58 | 74 |
| #4 | Sheep | +0.49 | 79 | 66 |
| #5 | yuta | -0.33 | 54 | 45 |





