








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 181 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 51 matches | ||
| Wingman | 16 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




40 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1011 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,868 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 884 | 31% |
| Smokes | 759 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 610 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 615 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $288,560 of utility $153 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 165 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ₥₳₦1₭ | 49% | 82 |
| #2 | TheBubonicChef | 35% | 23 |
| #3 | 8ulla | 23% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ₥₳₦1₭ | 49% | 82 |
| #2 | TheBubonicChef | 35% | 23 |
| #3 | 8ulla | 23% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ₥₳₦1₭ | 34 | 0.0221 |
| #2 | TheBubonicChef | 17 | 0.0385 |
| #3 | 8ulla | 7 | 0.0269 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ₥₳₦1₭ | 167 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #2 | TheBubonicChef | 129 | 0.29 | 3 min |
| #3 | 8ulla | 24 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ₥₳₦1₭ | +3.06 | 74 | 57 |
| #2 | Macheek | +0.80 | 76 | 56 |
| #3 | TheBubonicChef | -1.45 | 40 | 48 |
| #4 | 8ulla | -3.26 | 41 | 51 |





