








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 206 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 101 matches | ||
| Faceit | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2027 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,332 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3534 | 34% |
| Smokes | 2796 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2182 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1820 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $304,366 of utility $70 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 91 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ocean | 71% | 17 |
| #2 | Teh Lau ラ ウ | 70% | 20 |
| #3 | Morrtis nV | 69% | 16 |
| #4 | lbrakadabra- | 58% | 100 |
| #5 | Noname | 53% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Teh Lau ラ ウ | 70% | 20 |
| #3 | Morrtis nV | 69% | 16 |
| #4 | lbrakadabra- | 58% | 100 |
| #5 | Noname | 53% | 17 |
| #6 | aphextwin | 48% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lbrakadabra- | 6 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | aphextwin | 4 | 0.0043 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lbrakadabra- | 348 | 0.17 | 10 min |
| #2 | Teh Lau ラ ウ | 95 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| #3 | aphextwin | 88 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #4 | Noname | 45 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #5 | Morrtis nV | 24 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EVADE | +2.20 | 85 | 75 |
| #2 | Ocean | +1.21 | 75 | 68 |
| #3 | aphextwin | +0.90 | 81 | 60 |
| #4 | Teh Lau ラ ウ | +0.57 | 75 | 65 |
| #5 | lbrakadabra- | +0.48 | 80 | 80 |





