








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 419 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 89 matches | ||
| Premier | 86 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 37 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2110 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,051 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4701 | 22% |
| Smokes | 5090 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 5923 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 5337 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $248,421 of utility $28 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 998 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | MajKowaTy | 50% | 187 |
| #6 | siema to ja | 49% | 41 |
| #7 | Foczka | 48% | 182 |
| #8 | Turkish Enupiss | 45% | 60 |
| #9 | hereo | 42% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Foczka | 54 | 0.0147 |
| #2 | Verti | 11 | 0.0160 |
| #3 | Turkish Enupiss | 9 | 0.0073 |
| #4 | Mgwska | 8 | 0.0037 |
| #5 | Malack | 6 | 0.0126 |





