








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 585 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 142 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 128 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 27 matches | ||
| Faceit | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




108 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3921 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,418 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1035 | 11% |
| Smokes | 3029 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 3114 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 2240 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $721,691 of utility $68 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 362 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | siema to ja | 66% | 61 |
| #2 | Verti | 58% | 62 |
| #3 | MajKowaTy | 56% | 248 |
| #4 | Mgwska | 55% | 205 |
| #5 | Turkish Enupiss | 52% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | MajKowaTy | 56% | 248 |
| #4 | Mgwska | 55% | 205 |
| #5 | Turkish Enupiss | 52% | 54 |
| #6 | hereo | 48% | 46 |
| #7 | Stompy | 48% | 182 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stompy | 18 | 0.0049 |
| #2 | Verti | 14 | 0.0111 |
| #3 | Mgwska | 13 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | Turkish Enupiss | 10 | 0.0091 |
| #5 | MajKowaTy | 7 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mgwska | 700 | 0.17 | 19 min |
| #2 | MajKowaTy | 626 | 0.13 | 17 min |
| #3 | Stompy | 439 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| #4 | siema to ja | 106 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #5 | hereo | 78 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MajKowaTy | +3.42 | 72 | 66 |
| #2 | siema to ja | +3.06 | 77 | 59 |
| #3 | Verti | +1.37 | 69 | 25 |
| #4 | Foczka | -0.06 | 53 | 35 |
| #5 | Turkish Enupiss | -0.22 | 30 | 46 |





