








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 387 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 25 matches | ||
| Premier | 19 matches | ||
| Wingman | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
981 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,410 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 590 | 24% |
| Smokes | 516 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 459 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 845 | 35% |
Our logs show you have wasted $391,343 of utility $199 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 157 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kottonmouth Soldier | 75% | 8 |
| #2 | JTA | 72% | 18 |
| #3 | Mist Vi | 69% | 13 |
| #4 | MASSIVE FUTA DIHH | 67% | 9 |
| #5 | Zichu | 67% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Blizzard | 54% | 28 |
| #11 | WHEAT | 51% | 37 |
| #12 | Sorry | 43% | 7 |
| #13 | bowlcutboy | 42% | 12 |
| #14 | Neb | 41% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Neb | 2 | 0.0059 |
| #2 | reApeR 靈魂 | 1 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | Blizzard | 1 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | Zichu | 1 | 0.0041 |
| #5 | MASSIVE FUTA DIHH | 1 | 0.0050 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WHEAT | 166 | 0.25 | 4 min |
| #2 | Blizzard | 133 | 0.23 | 3 min |
| #3 | reApeR 靈魂 | 126 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #4 | bowlcutboy | 97 | 0.35 | 3 min |
| #5 | JTA | 56 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | blobby | +5.20 | 79 | 72 |
| #2 | WHEAT | +3.52 | 89 | 64 |
| #3 | Zichu | +3.09 | 89 | 63 |
| #4 | Mist Vi | +2.38 | 73 | 56 |
| #5 | JTA | +2.16 | 62 | 65 |





