








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 404 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 123 matches | ||
| Faceit | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2665 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,266 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2463 | 24% |
| Smokes | 3081 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2029 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 2693 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $661,571 of utility $119 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | h4byn | 78% | 18 |
| #2 | -Anarchy- | 72% | 18 |
| #3 | WHEAT | 67% | 15 |
| #4 | Sorry | 65% | 20 |
| #5 | Jp | 64% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #14 | Mortis | 50% | 18 |
| #15 | Entasi | 45% | 20 |
| #16 | Neb | 36% | 14 |
| #17 | p0wer | 32% | 19 |
| #18 | Chase | 30% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Blizzard | 7 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | Entasi | 4 | 0.0112 |
| #3 | reApeR 靈魂 | 3 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | h4byn | 2 | 0.0056 |
| #5 | blobby | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Blizzard | 522 | 0.27 | 13 min |
| #2 | reApeR 靈魂 | 207 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #3 | Leo | 192 | 0.35 | 5 min |
| #4 | Mist Vi | 113 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #5 | Entasi | 109 | 0.30 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chnce | +2.20 | 89 | 70 |
| #2 | blobby | +2.02 | 80 | 73 |
| #3 | JTA | +1.91 | 68 | 64 |
| #4 | -Anarchy- | +1.47 | 88 | 63 |
| #5 | Leo | +1.23 | 83 | 70 |





