








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 626 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 90 matches | ||
| Faceit | 89 matches | ||
| Premier | 80 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4606 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,337 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6944 | 34% |
| Smokes | 5487 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3298 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 4608 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $300,925 of utility $40 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 340 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mist Vi | 59% | 37 |
| #2 | Blizzard | 57% | 21 |
| #3 | bowlcutboy | 56% | 106 |
| #4 | fxde | 54% | 24 |
| #5 | SoySauce | 54% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | bowlcutboy | 56% | 106 |
| #4 | fxde | 54% | 24 |
| #5 | SoySauce | 54% | 48 |
| #6 | -Anarchy- | 51% | 37 |
| #7 | raccoon eating peanut butter | 46% | 82 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | raccoon eating peanut butter | 7 | 0.0049 |
| #2 | bowlcutboy | 5 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | fxde | 2 | 0.0044 |
| #4 | SoySauce | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | Blizzard | 1 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bowlcutboy | 663 | 0.30 | 15 min |
| #2 | raccoon eating peanut butter | 155 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #3 | Blizzard | 111 | 0.25 | 2 min |
| #4 | Mist Vi | 98 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #5 | fxde | 68 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fxde | +4.21 | 87 | 47 |
| #2 | WHEAT | +2.72 | 80 | 68 |
| #3 | Mist Vi | +1.22 | 63 | 65 |
| #4 | -Anarchy- | +0.69 | 92 | 41 |
| #5 | Blizzard | -0.13 | 75 | 59 |





