








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 22 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 39 matches | ||
| Wingman | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1352 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,383 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1551 | 35% |
| Smokes | 510 | 12% |
| HE Grenades | 1427 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 895 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $105,741 of utility $37 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 60 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Certified Brain Lag | 74% | 19 |
| #2 | .dookie. | 73% | 22 |
| #3 | Sandis "Šnariks" Šarkovskis | 70% | 10 |
| #4 | Pedejais Rigas sargs | 67% | 12 |
| #5 | DyopeX | 65% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #15 | kai | 42% | 19 |
| #16 | PuZiTe | 39% | 18 |
| #17 | yellow flash✞ | 36% | 11 |
| #18 | sand eater | 25% | 12 |
| #19 | Pedejais Rigas sargs | 20% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gamma감마 ) ) ) | 4 | 0.0050 |
| #2 | KagisB | 4 | 0.0073 |
| #3 | DyopeX | 3 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | Certified Brain Lag | 2 | 0.0054 |
| #5 | .dookie. | 2 | 0.0057 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Box | 133 | 0.29 | 3 min |
| #2 | gamma감마 ) ) ) | 113 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #3 | Bāzēts uz kā? | 112 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #4 | KagisB | 86 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #5 | DyopeX | 79 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PuZiTe | +4.56 | 75 | 37 |
| #2 | gamma감마 ) ) ) | +3.89 | 88 | 71 |
| #3 | Pedejais Rigas sargs | +3.78 | 85 | 67 |
| #4 | kai | +3.56 | 78 | 56 |
| #5 | yellow flash✞ | +3.26 | 74 | 64 |





