








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 143 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 82 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1301 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,731 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 739 | 27% |
| Smokes | 904 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 614 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 474 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $888,641 of utility $234 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 69 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 3 2 1 i vomited | 62% | 13 |
| #2 | Evertino | 60% | 10 |
| #3 | .dookie. | 59% | 27 |
| #4 | gamma감마 ) ) ) | 57% | 69 |
| #5 | DyopeX | 48% | 115 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | The Morbius | 40% | 10 |
| #12 | Pedejais Rigas sargs | 40% | 15 |
| #13 | bogdan | 37% | 75 |
| #14 | PuZiTe | 36% | 44 |
| #15 | Sandis "Šnariks" Šarkovskis | 22% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gamma감마 ) ) ) | 10 | 0.0072 |
| #2 | Bāzēts uz kā? | 8 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | 3 2 1 i vomited | 4 | 0.0147 |
| #4 | PuZiTe | 3 | 0.0031 |
| #5 | DyopeX | 2 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bāzēts uz kā? | 375 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #2 | bogdan | 360 | 0.23 | 9 min |
| #3 | DyopeX | 212 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #4 | gamma감마 ) ) ) | 189 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #5 | KagisB | 182 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 3 2 1 i vomited | +4.70 | 85 | 78 |
| #2 | gamma감마 ) ) ) | +3.73 | 90 | 72 |
| #3 | Pedejais Rigas sargs | +3.55 | 77 | 67 |
| #4 | PuZiTe | +3.18 | 81 | 55 |
| #5 | DyopeX | +2.59 | 66 | 65 |





