








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 210 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
738 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,774 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 308 | 17% |
| Smokes | 223 | 13% |
| HE Grenades | 720 | 41% |
| Molotovs | 523 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $155,966 of utility $49 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 385 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lennartsson | 54% | 71 |
| #2 | GoonMaxer6000 | 51% | 67 |
| #3 | JIMMIE | 47% | 19 |
| #4 | gurrrken | 45% | 115 |
| #5 | SELLOUT 2 | 44% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | petsson | 11 | 0.0107 |
| #2 | Lennartsson | 10 | 0.0067 |
| #3 | gurrrken | 9 | 0.0040 |
| #4 | GoonMaxer6000 | 9 | 0.0072 |
| #5 | Fяєє∂σмραуѕ | 7 | 0.0087 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gurrrken | 179 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #2 | Lennartsson | 175 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #3 | petsson | 150 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #4 | GoonMaxer6000 | 100 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | Fяєє∂σмραуѕ | 73 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lennartsson | +5.07 | 48 | 62 |
| #2 | GoonMaxer6000 | +3.86 | 56 | 39 |
| #3 | gurrrken | +1.23 | 52 | 45 |
| #4 | JIMMIE | -1.13 | 51 | 53 |
| #5 | petsson | -2.22 | 24 | 58 |





