








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 5 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Premier | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
427 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,090 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 113 | 10% |
| Smokes | 269 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 443 | 41% |
| Molotovs | 265 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $67,288 of utility $79 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⓛωⓛ | 71% | 14 |
| #2 | Withers | 67% | 3 |
| #3 | Rekt | 67% | 3 |
| #4 | hallo | 47% | 30 |
| #5 | General Kilt | 43% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | General Kilt | 43% | 14 |
| #6 | robcat | 42% | 12 |
| #7 | bsb | 33% | 3 |
| #8 | MM FCS 48hr | 0% | 3 |
| #9 | t | 0% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hallo | 6 | 0.0103 |
| #2 | robcat | 2 | 0.0084 |
| #3 | Withers | 1 | 0.0169 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hallo | 100 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #2 | ⓛωⓛ | 53 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #3 | General Kilt | 28 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #4 | robcat | 28 | 0.12 | 0 min |
| #5 | bsb | 12 | 0.17 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Withers | +3.72 | 75 | 39 |
| #2 | hallo | +2.63 | 86 | 70 |
| #3 | bsb | +1.27 | 73 | 64 |
| #4 | ⓛωⓛ | +1.18 | 64 | 61 |
| #5 | Rekt | +0.77 | 60 | 16 |





