








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 683 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 270 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 155 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 92 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 87 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 84 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 82 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 78 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 106 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




33 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7251 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 28,730 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8313 | 29% |
| Smokes | 8090 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 6431 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 5896 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,892,005 of utility $141 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 288 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | ⓛωⓛ | 54% | 198 |
| #3 | robcat | 50% | 591 |
| #4 | Milk | 48% | 720 |
| #5 | hallo | 48% | 315 |
| #6 | MM FCS 48hr | 48% | 284 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hallo | 81 | 0.0129 |
| #2 | Milk | 78 | 0.0054 |
| #3 | robcat | 41 | 0.0035 |
| #4 | MM FCS 48hr | 25 | 0.0044 |
| #5 | ⓛωⓛ | 22 | 0.0056 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Milk | 2537 | 0.18 | 55 min |
| #2 | hallo | 1225 | 0.19 | 32 min |
| #3 | robcat | 1162 | 0.10 | 31 min |
| #4 | ⓛωⓛ | 706 | 0.18 | 18 min |
| #5 | MM FCS 48hr | 505 | 0.09 | 11 min |





