








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 14 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
155 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 299 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 63 | 21% |
| Smokes | 49 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 116 | 39% |
| Molotovs | 71 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $57,620 of utility $97 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 10 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | A Christmas rodger | 27% | 15 |
| #2 | [CELL] oyster professor | 25% | 4 |
| #3 | Paper Wizard EXTREME | 25% | 16 |
| #4 | black salami 2 | 22% | 9 |
| #5 | Scottie2k | 12% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Paper Wizard EXTREME | 25% | 16 |
| #4 | black salami 2 | 22% | 9 |
| #5 | Scottie2k | 12% | 17 |
| #6 | Trigg | 0% | 2 |
| #7 | Cyberchump | 0% | 2 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Paper Wizard EXTREME | 4 | 0.0117 |
| #2 | A Christmas rodger | 2 | 0.0063 |
| #3 | [CELL] oyster professor | 1 | 0.0122 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | A Christmas rodger | 54 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #2 | Scottie2k | 34 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #3 | black salami 2 | 22 | 0.11 | 0 min |
| #4 | [CELL] oyster professor | 12 | 0.15 | 0 min |
| #5 | Paper Wizard EXTREME | 8 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Trigg | +7.89 | 74 | 62 |
| #2 | [CELL] oyster professor | +3.53 | 50 | 44 |
| #3 | A Christmas rodger | +0.70 | 63 | 66 |
| #4 | Scottie2k | -0.08 | 48 | 45 |
| #5 | Paper Wizard EXTREME | -1.63 | 56 | 33 |





