








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1500 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 210 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Faceit | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 75 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




83 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3788 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,845 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4296 | 36% |
| Smokes | 2889 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2048 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 2612 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $749,858 of utility $109 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 742 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Spetz | 61% | 38 |
| #2 | Rimuru | 58% | 38 |
| #3 | ♥️DryPeek♥️♛Logic♛ | 58% | 45 |
| #4 | remmy7 | 58% | 26 |
| #5 | Russian | 55% | 74 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Thund4h | 49% | 76 |
| #9 | jww | 48% | 62 |
| #10 | ✪ Power Bottom | 48% | 21 |
| #11 | Howdee | 47% | 17 |
| #12 | ✠BigBob3D | 46% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Thund4h | 18 | 0.0113 |
| #2 | jww | 18 | 0.0139 |
| #3 | Russian | 16 | 0.0105 |
| #4 | ♥️DryPeek♥️♛Logic♛ | 7 | 0.0078 |
| #5 | ✠BigBob3D | 4 | 0.0041 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pungents | 306 | 0.32 | 7 min |
| #2 | jww | 241 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #3 | ✠BigBob3D | 162 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #4 | Rimuru | 148 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #5 | Thund4h | 136 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rimuru | +3.90 | 87 | 47 |
| #2 | Pungents | +1.99 | 81 | 69 |
| #3 | jww | +1.84 | 87 | 54 |
| #4 | Ω | +1.78 | 81 | 61 |
| #5 | Russian | +1.64 | 81 | 30 |





