








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 764 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 219 matches | ||
| Premier | 91 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 40 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4302 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,213 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4810 | 32% |
| Smokes | 3706 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2516 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 4181 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $906,661 of utility $114 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 666 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rimuru | 70% | 20 |
| #2 | Angry | 53% | 43 |
| #3 | Dirk Diggler | 53% | 59 |
| #4 | LoneStarrr | 51% | 59 |
| #5 | Banss | 49% | 128 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | LoneStarrr | 51% | 59 |
| #5 | Banss | 49% | 128 |
| #6 | Ω | 48% | 62 |
| #7 | CeeeeeeJ | 47% | 19 |
| #8 | Howdee | 42% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ω | 25 | 0.0191 |
| #2 | LoneStarrr | 3 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | Angry | 3 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | Banss | 2 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | Dirk Diggler | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Banss | 815 | 0.29 | 24 min |
| #2 | Ω | 291 | 0.22 | 6 min |
| #3 | LoneStarrr | 246 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #4 | Dirk Diggler | 205 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #5 | Angry | 142 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rimuru | +3.74 | 87 | 56 |
| #2 | Dirk Diggler | +1.32 | 84 | 69 |
| #3 | Ω | +1.13 | 81 | 59 |
| #4 | jww | +0.88 | 77 | 62 |
| #5 | Angry | +0.83 | 56 | 65 |





