








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 124 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 332 matches | ||
| Esplay | 4 matches | 2,077 |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3358 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,953 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3989 | 31% |
| Smokes | 2808 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 3304 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2852 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $875,074 of utility $117 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 91 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jean Claude | 50% | 131 |
| #2 | vatten | 49% | 43 |
| #3 | zajr | 48% | 172 |
| #4 | ticz | 46% | 266 |
| #5 | andii✦ | 41% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | zajr | 48% | 172 |
| #4 | ticz | 46% | 266 |
| #5 | andii✦ | 41% | 22 |
| #6 | Xaarlan | 39% | 36 |
| #7 | Excpect | 35% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Xaarlan | 2 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | zajr | 1 | 0.0003 |
| #3 | Excpect | 1 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ticz | 918 | 0.16 | 27 min |
| #2 | zajr | 866 | 0.23 | 22 min |
| #3 | Jean Claude | 285 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #4 | vatten | 152 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #5 | Xaarlan | 138 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vatten | +2.16 | 79 | 67 |
| #2 | ticz | +1.75 | 86 | 73 |
| #3 | Excpect | +0.12 | 83 | 67 |
| #4 | Xaarlan | -0.10 | 79 | 73 |
| #5 | General Kapital | -0.50 | 66 | 63 |





