








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 438 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 225 matches | ||
| Esplay | 66 matches | 1,873 | |
| Premier | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3139 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,307 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5725 | 33% |
| Smokes | 4105 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 3216 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 4261 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $310,246 of utility $44 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 79 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vatten | 57% | 35 |
| #2 | Quasi | 53% | 17 |
| #3 | Excpect | 52% | 29 |
| #4 | Jean Claude | 51% | 134 |
| #5 | ticz | 50% | 202 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Excpect | 52% | 29 |
| #4 | Jean Claude | 51% | 134 |
| #5 | ticz | 50% | 202 |
| #6 | General Kapital | 48% | 172 |
| #7 | Xaarlan | 43% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ticz | 2 | 0.0004 |
| #2 | General Kapital | 1 | 0.0003 |
| #3 | Jean Claude | 1 | 0.0003 |
| #4 | Xaarlan | 1 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | Excpect | 1 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ticz | 759 | 0.17 | 22 min |
| #2 | General Kapital | 524 | 0.14 | 12 min |
| #3 | Jean Claude | 309 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #4 | Xaarlan | 156 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #5 | Excpect | 153 | 0.25 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vatten | +1.79 | 81 | 65 |
| #2 | ticz | +1.77 | 86 | 74 |
| #3 | Excpect | +1.52 | 87 | 70 |
| #4 | Quasi | +0.51 | 68 | 70 |
| #5 | zajr | -0.22 | 79 | 72 |





