








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 78 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 155 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1612 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,139 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1601 | 26% |
| Smokes | 2335 | 38% |
| HE Grenades | 965 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 1238 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $534,754 of utility $121 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 47 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | w!retap | 57% | 28 |
| #2 | Iroh | 55% | 76 |
| #3 | 𝓐𝓽𝓸𝓶𝓲𝓴 | 54% | 13 |
| #4 | MAEL | 50% | 38 |
| #5 | vvCephei | 50% | 203 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | MAEL | 50% | 38 |
| #5 | vvCephei | 50% | 203 |
| #6 | JACK1E | 49% | 105 |
| #7 | FOCUS | 46% | 138 |
| #8 | TwiTeh | 44% | 103 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Iroh | 6 | 0.0040 |
| #2 | vvCephei | 5 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | FOCUS | 4 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | JACK1E | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | TwiTeh | 3 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FOCUS | 648 | 0.23 | 22 min |
| #2 | JACK1E | 408 | 0.18 | 14 min |
| #3 | vvCephei | 234 | 0.06 | 7 min |
| #4 | w!retap | 50 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | TwiTeh | 46 | 0.02 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝓐𝓽𝓸𝓶𝓲𝓴 | +5.38 | 79 | 63 |
| #2 | JACK1E | +2.28 | 63 | 85 |
| #3 | w!retap | +0.22 | 55 | 65 |
| #4 | vvCephei | -0.25 | 66 | 58 |
| #5 | TwiTeh | -0.26 | 66 | 53 |





