








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 34 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 119 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
771 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,604 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 428 | 12% |
| Smokes | 1300 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 768 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1108 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $360,051 of utility $92 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 35 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dendro | 50% | 38 |
| #2 | TwiTeh | 48% | 71 |
| #3 | vvCephei | 44% | 169 |
| #4 | JACK1E | 44% | 78 |
| #5 | FOCUS | 42% | 119 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | JACK1E | 44% | 78 |
| #5 | FOCUS | 42% | 119 |
| #6 | Iroh | 41% | 80 |
| #7 | w!retap | 39% | 41 |
| #8 | Timmy's Dad | 33% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TwiTeh | 4 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | FOCUS | 3 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | JACK1E | 3 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | vvCephei | 2 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | Iroh | 2 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FOCUS | 522 | 0.21 | 15 min |
| #2 | JACK1E | 294 | 0.18 | 9 min |
| #3 | vvCephei | 196 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #4 | Dendro | 120 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #5 | w!retap | 56 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JACK1E | +1.06 | 60 | 84 |
| #2 | TwiTeh | +0.86 | 72 | 53 |
| #3 | FOCUS | +0.21 | 42 | 74 |
| #4 | vvCephei | -0.40 | 71 | 57 |
| #5 | Dendro | -0.80 | 54 | 58 |





