








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 462 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 184 matches | ||
| Wingman | 31 matches | ||
| Premier | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3599 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,209 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1775 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1925 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1741 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1768 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,307,638 of utility $209 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 306 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | SASSY | 44% | 16 |
| #11 | Gn Streaks | 44% | 16 |
| #12 | kyzloh | 37% | 35 |
| #13 | ok | 37% | 27 |
| #14 | Magic Matt | 33% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kyzloh | 3 | 0.0040 |
| #2 | Faust | 3 | 0.0051 |
| #3 | Xeph0r | 2 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | AJA | 2 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | ok | 2 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kobey | +1.90 | 86 | 53 |
| #2 | Faust | +1.26 | 83 | 54 |
| #3 | cvbnm779 | +1.07 | 65 | 72 |
| #4 | Banger Buddy | +0.70 | 78 | 43 |
| #5 | kyzloh | +0.59 | 84 | 52 |





