








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 399 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 90 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 53 matches | ||
| Premier | 48 matches | ||
| Faceit | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2518 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,627 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3455 | 40% |
| Smokes | 1993 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1927 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1252 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,305,613 of utility $120 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 44 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kola | 61% | 150 |
| #2 | papercut01 | 60% | 45 |
| #3 | lolita大佬 | 59% | 88 |
| #4 | invictus lixz | 58% | 59 |
| #5 | Laevatain | 53% | 399 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lakuatain | 13 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | nyovelt | 13 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | Kola | 8 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | 小小羊 | 7 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | lolita大佬 | 6 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Laevatain | 1391 | 0.17 | 39 min |
| #2 | Lakuatain | 1253 | 0.15 | 31 min |
| #3 | BoWu_ | 504 | 0.15 | 15 min |
| #4 | Kola | 488 | 0.16 | 11 min |
| #5 | lolita大佬 | 481 | 0.28 | 13 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | papercut01 | +4.91 | 92 | 67 |
| #2 | Laevatain | +3.76 | 63 | 64 |
| #3 | Kola | +2.69 | 67 | 57 |
| #4 | lolita大佬 | +1.88 | 54 | 73 |
| #5 | BoWu_ | +1.59 | 67 | 71 |





