








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 3 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 246 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4756 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,015 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2220 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1889 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 2674 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 2232 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $780,362 of utility $81 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 363 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Krabby Patty | 61% | 28 |
| #2 | Lunar | 57% | 98 |
| #3 | Lukabuka | 53% | 72 |
| #4 | xDWRx (AFO) | 53% | 57 |
| #5 | Bees | 51% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Corpzi | 50% | 24 |
| #7 | Matteries | 50% | 102 |
| #8 | juiced-enthusiast | 49% | 73 |
| #9 | Xtra Foxy Effect | 48% | 88 |
| #10 | UFearBro | 29% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Matteries | 35 | 0.0161 |
| #2 | Xtra Foxy Effect | 20 | 0.0108 |
| #3 | juiced-enthusiast | 13 | 0.0083 |
| #4 | Bees | 13 | 0.0131 |
| #5 | Lukabuka | 8 | 0.0053 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Matteries | 447 | 0.21 | 10 min |
| #2 | juiced-enthusiast | 206 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #3 | xDWRx (AFO) | 198 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #4 | Lunar | 169 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #5 | Xtra Foxy Effect | 153 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | juiced-enthusiast | +2.64 | 76 | 54 |
| #2 | Corpzi | +1.89 | 73 | 64 |
| #3 | xDWRx (AFO) | +1.70 | 53 | 60 |
| #4 | Lukabuka | +0.77 | 82 | 46 |
| #5 | Nxftiis | +0.67 | 76 | 42 |





