








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 110 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 203 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 57 matches | ||
| Faceit | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




118 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3655 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,064 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4912 | 33% |
| Smokes | 3265 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 3330 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 3557 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $393,374 of utility $45 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 149 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dark-matter420 | 68% | 28 |
| #2 | Lucifer™ | 53% | 30 |
| #3 | Jewish | 53% | 92 |
| #4 | juiced-enthusiast | 53% | 173 |
| #5 | Reze | 50% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Nxftiis | 50% | 102 |
| #7 | Lukabuka | 49% | 151 |
| #8 | Bees | 47% | 79 |
| #9 | Xtra Foxy Effect | 43% | 129 |
| #10 | SleekiT | 38% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | juiced-enthusiast | 46 | 0.0127 |
| #2 | Xtra Foxy Effect | 32 | 0.0121 |
| #3 | dark-matter420 | 25 | 0.0479 |
| #4 | Lukabuka | 19 | 0.0060 |
| #5 | Jewish | 13 | 0.0066 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | juiced-enthusiast | 505 | 0.14 | 11 min |
| #2 | Jewish | 375 | 0.19 | 10 min |
| #3 | Xtra Foxy Effect | 226 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #4 | Lukabuka | 130 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #5 | Nxftiis | 105 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | juiced-enthusiast | +2.06 | 77 | 57 |
| #2 | dark-matter420 | +1.88 | 76 | 59 |
| #3 | Jewish | +1.71 | 78 | 72 |
| #4 | Lucifer™ | +1.35 | 69 | 56 |
| #5 | Reze | +0.41 | 82 | 58 |





