








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 164 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 226 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 70 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3221 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,623 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1484 | 22% |
| Smokes | 2381 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 1020 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 1738 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,940,066 of utility $267 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 283 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | joshmaister | 65% | 49 |
| #2 | YouHavingAGiggle | 56% | 147 |
| #3 | ♚Br4♚ツ | 52% | 25 |
| #4 | Maro | 51% | 176 |
| #5 | UngaBunga | 50% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Maro | 51% | 176 |
| #5 | UngaBunga | 50% | 26 |
| #6 | Jonah | 50% | 52 |
| #7 | Grobi | 48% | 109 |
| #8 | AWP MAN | 32% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Maro | 17 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | UngaBunga | 13 | 0.0231 |
| #3 | YouHavingAGiggle | 10 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | joshmaister | 3 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | AWP MAN | 3 | 0.0080 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Maro | 788 | 0.22 | 21 min |
| #2 | YouHavingAGiggle | 240 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #3 | Grobi | 104 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #4 | ♚Br4♚ツ | 64 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #5 | Jonah | 59 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Maro | +3.27 | 79 | 67 |
| #2 | joshmaister | +2.33 | 91 | 20 |
| #3 | Grobi | +1.14 | 74 | 49 |
| #4 | ♚Br4♚ツ | +0.74 | 61 | 67 |
| #5 | YouHavingAGiggle | -0.86 | 53 | 66 |





