








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 697 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 331 matches | ||
| Faceit | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 18 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 23 different maps





Our logs show 55 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




32 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6103 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,695 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7709 | 33% |
| Smokes | 5207 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 5353 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 5426 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,245,069 of utility $100 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 249 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | UngaBunga | 59% | 69 |
| #2 | joshmaister | 59% | 117 |
| #3 | Henning | 56% | 61 |
| #4 | YouHavingAGiggle | 55% | 232 |
| #5 | Grobi | 53% | 269 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | YouHavingAGiggle | 55% | 232 |
| #5 | Grobi | 53% | 269 |
| #6 | ♚Br4♚ツ | 51% | 142 |
| #7 | Root beer | 51% | 176 |
| #8 | Jonah | 48% | 77 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | YouHavingAGiggle | 24 | 0.0051 |
| #2 | Root beer | 21 | 0.0058 |
| #3 | UngaBunga | 14 | 0.0098 |
| #4 | Grobi | 11 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | ♚Br4♚ツ | 4 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | YouHavingAGiggle | 415 | 0.09 | 11 min |
| #2 | Root beer | 242 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #3 | Grobi | 236 | 0.04 | 6 min |
| #4 | ♚Br4♚ツ | 216 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #5 | UngaBunga | 152 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | joshmaister | +2.56 | 92 | 21 |
| #2 | Maro | +2.33 | 77 | 67 |
| #3 | Grobi | +0.51 | 77 | 51 |
| #4 | Henning | -0.11 | 46 | 63 |
| #5 | ♚Br4♚ツ | -0.16 | 54 | 64 |





