








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 261 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 84 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2088 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,129 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 120 | 6% |
| Smokes | 735 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 268 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 1006 | 47% |
Our logs show you have wasted $639,413 of utility $160 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 37 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Root beer | 65% | 49 |
| #2 | UngaBunga | 62% | 34 |
| #3 | Maro | 59% | 117 |
| #4 | YouHavingAGiggle | 57% | 119 |
| #5 | Grobi | 54% | 105 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | YouHavingAGiggle | 57% | 119 |
| #5 | Grobi | 54% | 105 |
| #6 | AWP MAN | 50% | 12 |
| #7 | ♚Br4♚ツ | 50% | 72 |
| #8 | Jonah | 48% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | YouHavingAGiggle | 15 | 0.0062 |
| #2 | Maro | 10 | 0.0042 |
| #3 | UngaBunga | 5 | 0.0073 |
| #4 | Grobi | 4 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | AWP MAN | 4 | 0.0196 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Maro | 589 | 0.25 | 16 min |
| #2 | YouHavingAGiggle | 214 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #3 | ♚Br4♚ツ | 100 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #4 | Grobi | 85 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | UngaBunga | 77 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | joshmaister | +2.78 | 91 | 20 |
| #2 | Maro | +1.79 | 78 | 64 |
| #3 | Grobi | +0.63 | 79 | 50 |
| #4 | ♚Br4♚ツ | -0.53 | 56 | 66 |
| #5 | YouHavingAGiggle | -1.56 | 54 | 67 |





