








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 341 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 219 matches | ||
| Faceit | 19 matches | ||
| Wingman | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




33 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3130 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,557 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2630 | 21% |
| Smokes | 3520 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2897 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 3510 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,302,091 of utility $158 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 382 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | joshmaister | 57% | 119 |
| #2 | Root beer | 56% | 147 |
| #3 | Grobi | 56% | 185 |
| #4 | Maro | 55% | 232 |
| #5 | UngaBunga | 53% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | UngaBunga | 53% | 59 |
| #6 | ♚Br4♚ツ | 51% | 126 |
| #7 | Grant Hanley | 50% | 24 |
| #8 | Jonah | 49% | 73 |
| #9 | AWP MAN | 35% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Maro | 22 | 0.0047 |
| #2 | Root beer | 13 | 0.0044 |
| #3 | UngaBunga | 13 | 0.0109 |
| #4 | Grobi | 8 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | AWP MAN | 6 | 0.0133 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Maro | 1021 | 0.22 | 26 min |
| #2 | ♚Br4♚ツ | 221 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #3 | Root beer | 183 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #4 | Grobi | 169 | 0.04 | 4 min |
| #5 | Grant Hanley | 151 | 0.28 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Grant Hanley | +3.24 | 75 | 66 |
| #2 | Maro | +2.78 | 79 | 65 |
| #3 | joshmaister | +2.64 | 92 | 20 |
| #4 | Grobi | +1.15 | 78 | 51 |
| #5 | ♚Br4♚ツ | +0.20 | 58 | 62 |





