








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 278 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 136 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Faceit | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 64 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1739 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,148 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2060 | 25% |
| Smokes | 2146 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1806 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2136 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,159,248 of utility $226 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 591 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jelly | 50% | 108 |
| #2 | Treble | 49% | 126 |
| #3 | TonyPepproni | 49% | 94 |
| #4 | Filthy Casual | 48% | 168 |
| #5 | I'd rather be golfing | 47% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | I'd rather be golfing | 5 | 0.0054 |
| #2 | Filthy Casual | 4 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | TonyPepproni | 4 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | ShweetTee | 4 | 0.0056 |
| #5 | Johnny Hollywood | 3 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Filthy Casual | 1309 | 0.37 | 39 min |
| #2 | TonyPepproni | 435 | 0.22 | 13 min |
| #3 | Johnny Hollywood | 232 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #4 | Treble | 179 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #5 | I'd rather be golfing | 159 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TonyPepproni | +4.11 | 72 | 79 |
| #2 | Treble | +2.64 | 71 | 68 |
| #3 | I'd rather be golfing | +2.25 | 68 | 70 |
| #4 | Filthy Casual | +0.08 | 68 | 88 |
| #5 | MyspaceTom | -1.01 | 40 | 62 |





