








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 223 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 116 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 57 matches | ||
| Wingman | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2112 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,744 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 518 | 14% |
| Smokes | 885 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1348 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 993 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,241,797 of utility $209 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 79 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sLg|TheLegend27 | 75% | 16 |
| #2 | JD | 73% | 15 |
| #3 | C1rus.de | 60% | 15 |
| #4 | Jon4s | 60% | 30 |
| #5 | p a t u | 60% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #15 | xsanjin | 38% | 26 |
| #16 | sLg|Noumet | 36% | 99 |
| #17 | Llama | 32% | 37 |
| #18 | Emil | 30% | 30 |
| #19 | Diva | 24% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LostMonkey | 3 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | AzE | 3 | 0.0083 |
| #3 | sLg|Noumet | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | Rantanplan | 2 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | Jon4s | 2 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sLg|Noumet | 229 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #2 | mimas | 127 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #3 | Schriis | 98 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #4 | LostMonkey | 85 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #5 | xsanjin | 72 | 0.13 | 2 min |





