








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 557 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 631 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 34 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




35 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7319 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,457 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6198 | 38% |
| Smokes | 2467 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 5159 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 2633 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,755,786 of utility $164 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1261 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GlizzyGoat | 58% | 50 |
| #2 | BigYak710 | 57% | 69 |
| #3 | Berzerk | 54% | 67 |
| #4 | Lava Bucket | 51% | 298 |
| #5 | 3D women olny bring pain | 49% | 92 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | 3D women olny bring pain | 49% | 92 |
| #6 | Tippins | 49% | 329 |
| #7 | Turkey Hill Tea | 48% | 430 |
| #8 | Phuqur | 47% | 59 |
| #9 | Pugpants | 42% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Turkey Hill Tea | 35 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | Tippins | 19 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | Lava Bucket | 7 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | Berzerk | 6 | 0.0045 |
| #5 | 3D women olny bring pain | 4 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Turkey Hill Tea | 1549 | 0.17 | 33 min |
| #2 | Tippins | 942 | 0.14 | 26 min |
| #3 | GlizzyGoat | 213 | 0.21 | 5 min |
| #4 | Lava Bucket | 196 | 0.03 | 5 min |
| #5 | Pugpants | 193 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GlizzyGoat | +4.81 | 87 | 65 |
| #2 | Pugpants | +3.15 | 71 | 72 |
| #3 | Berzerk | +2.22 | 74 | 59 |
| #4 | 3D women olny bring pain | +1.03 | 66 | 38 |
| #5 | Turkey Hill Tea | +0.94 | 66 | 67 |





