








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 41 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 38 matches | ||
| Premier | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
666 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,237 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1239 | 29% |
| Smokes | 1023 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 916 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1059 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $187,512 of utility $94 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | DannyDEcaprio | 42% | 19 |
| #10 | rabe | 37% | 43 |
| #11 | Deu7 | 32% | 19 |
| #12 | Bob G | 30% | 30 |
| #13 | putin bad | 29% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rabe | 7 | 0.0079 |
| #2 | Bob G | 3 | 0.0043 |
| #3 | Rubyi | 3 | 0.0069 |
| #4 | KlappmesserToni | 2 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | wuyu | 2 | 0.0048 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bob G | 265 | 0.38 | 7 min |
| #2 | rabe | 155 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #3 | MadMat | 132 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #4 | MRxRED | 102 | 0.21 | 3 min |
| #5 | KlappmesserToni | 95 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MadMat | +4.68 | 83 | 67 |
| #2 | Rubyi | +3.45 | 83 | 68 |
| #3 | putin bad | +1.79 | 87 | 67 |
| #4 | MRxRED | +1.78 | 81 | 78 |
| #5 | wuyu | +1.62 | 81 | 62 |





