








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 198 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 34 matches | ||
| Premier | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1474 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,695 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1883 | 24% |
| Smokes | 2181 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1714 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1917 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $358,582 of utility $92 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 278 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Roxxon | 80% | 15 |
| #2 | MRxRED | 67% | 15 |
| #3 | MadMat | 61% | 28 |
| #4 | Rubyi | 60% | 43 |
| #5 | _dyeknoM | 56% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Deu7 | 13 | 0.0104 |
| #2 | KlappmesserToni | 12 | 0.0069 |
| #3 | putin bad | 7 | 0.0075 |
| #4 | wuyu | 5 | 0.0045 |
| #5 | DannyDEcaprio | 5 | 0.0058 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bob G | 302 | 0.41 | 8 min |
| #2 | Deu7 | 270 | 0.22 | 7 min |
| #3 | Haftbob Schwammbefehl | 227 | 0.26 | 5 min |
| #4 | wuyu | 210 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #5 | Rubyi | 204 | 0.24 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rubyi | +6.11 | 79 | 66 |
| #2 | MRxRED | +5.00 | 88 | 75 |
| #3 | MadMat | +4.73 | 84 | 60 |
| #4 | putin bad | +4.62 | 88 | 68 |
| #5 | TastesLikeMeat | +3.55 | 63 | 71 |





