








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 463 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 130 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1521 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,267 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1356 | 22% |
| Smokes | 1628 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1325 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1958 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $577,775 of utility $163 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 52 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kirby | 94% | 16 |
| #2 | Luxarr | 92% | 25 |
| #3 | ShayN | 92% | 12 |
| #4 | ∼ | 89% | 9 |
| #5 | WillyWonka-iwnl- | 73% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Wuestenschlange | 57% | 42 |
| #10 | Spike | 54% | 28 |
| #11 | Lilo | 52% | 42 |
| #12 | greeksN^ | 52% | 25 |
| #13 | Wuchtiges Waffeleisen | 48% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lowlita | 304 | 0.28 | 9 min |
| #2 | WillyWonka-iwnl- | 170 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #3 | Spike | 165 | 0.26 | 5 min |
| #4 | Luxarr | 154 | 0.28 | 4 min |
| #5 | Wuchtiges Waffeleisen | 129 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ShayN | +4.21 | 93 | 67 |
| #2 | ∼ | +3.15 | 73 | 58 |
| #3 | Kirby | +2.47 | 90 | 72 |
| #4 | kento | +2.28 | 78 | 57 |
| #5 | Luxarr | +2.26 | 76 | 72 |





