








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 676 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 633 matches | ||
| Premier | 66 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 96 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




35 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5974 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 28,777 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6394 | 22% |
| Smokes | 9365 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 5887 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 7131 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,864,067 of utility $169 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 502 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Pozycz 2 zlote | 49% | 719 |
| #5 | Corvo | 49% | 520 |
| #6 | DeVoN | 49% | 627 |
| #7 | Poseidon | 48% | 404 |
| #8 | Bao | 46% | 76 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pozycz 2 zlote | 32 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | DeVoN | 23 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | Corvo | 19 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | Poseidon | 17 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | Leetify I just wanna die | 5 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pozycz 2 zlote | 3776 | 0.24 | 99 min |
| #2 | Corvo | 1749 | 0.15 | 51 min |
| #3 | Poseidon | 1467 | 0.16 | 39 min |
| #4 | Leetify I just wanna die | 941 | 0.17 | 24 min |
| #5 | DeVoN | 889 | 0.06 | 26 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Leetify I just wanna die | +1.86 | 75 | 66 |
| #2 | Pozycz 2 zlote | +1.72 | 48 | 70 |
| #3 | Corvo | +1.12 | 54 | 67 |
| #4 | Poseidon | -0.05 | 56 | 68 |
| #5 | Bao | -1.09 | 45 | 68 |





