








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 797 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 613 matches | ||
| Premier | 100 matches | ||
| Wingman | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 59 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




33 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8420 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 29,816 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 11103 | 37% |
| Smokes | 8582 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 4655 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 5476 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,214,173 of utility $123 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 654 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | neyoo | 53% | 100 |
| #2 | Leetify I just wanna die | 52% | 184 |
| #3 | Poseidon | 51% | 330 |
| #4 | Pozycz 2 zlote | 49% | 690 |
| #5 | Creepy | 49% | 520 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Poseidon | 51% | 330 |
| #4 | Pozycz 2 zlote | 49% | 690 |
| #5 | Creepy | 49% | 520 |
| #6 | DeVoN | 48% | 585 |
| #7 | Bao | 47% | 93 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pozycz 2 zlote | 35 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | Creepy | 26 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | DeVoN | 25 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | Poseidon | 13 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | neyoo | 3 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pozycz 2 zlote | 3344 | 0.22 | 89 min |
| #2 | Creepy | 1439 | 0.12 | 35 min |
| #3 | Poseidon | 1093 | 0.15 | 29 min |
| #4 | DeVoN | 800 | 0.06 | 23 min |
| #5 | Leetify I just wanna die | 686 | 0.17 | 18 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Leetify I just wanna die | +1.70 | 71 | 65 |
| #2 | Pozycz 2 zlote | +1.44 | 47 | 68 |
| #3 | Corvo | +1.18 | 53 | 66 |
| #4 | Poseidon | -0.23 | 57 | 66 |
| #5 | DeVoN | -1.72 | 46 | 56 |





