








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 489 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 262 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 28 matches | ||
| Premier | 25 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3419 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,111 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6300 | 42% |
| Smokes | 3030 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 2524 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 3257 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $854,053 of utility $103 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 173 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Poseidon | 55% | 165 |
| #5 | Pozycz 2 zlote | 53% | 283 |
| #6 | DeVoN | 53% | 266 |
| #7 | Corvo | 52% | 184 |
| #8 | Creepy | 49% | 246 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DeVoN | 14 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | Pozycz 2 zlote | 10 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | Corvo | 8 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | Creepy | 5 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | neyoo | 3 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pozycz 2 zlote | 1507 | 0.24 | 42 min |
| #2 | Creepy | 723 | 0.13 | 19 min |
| #3 | Corvo | 639 | 0.16 | 18 min |
| #4 | Poseidon | 583 | 0.16 | 17 min |
| #5 | DeVoN | 366 | 0.06 | 11 min |





