








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 592 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 417 matches | ||
| Premier | 35 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 55 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4808 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,380 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6418 | 31% |
| Smokes | 6150 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 3264 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 4548 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,429,525 of utility $127 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 218 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | neyoo | 56% | 71 |
| #2 | Leetify I just wanna die | 55% | 165 |
| #3 | Corvo | 51% | 330 |
| #4 | DeVoN | 50% | 410 |
| #5 | Pozycz 2 zlote | 50% | 484 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Corvo | 51% | 330 |
| #4 | DeVoN | 50% | 410 |
| #5 | Pozycz 2 zlote | 50% | 484 |
| #6 | Creepy | 48% | 404 |
| #7 | Bao | 45% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pozycz 2 zlote | 24 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | DeVoN | 22 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | Creepy | 15 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | Corvo | 13 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | Leetify I just wanna die | 4 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pozycz 2 zlote | 2431 | 0.23 | 65 min |
| #2 | Creepy | 1101 | 0.12 | 28 min |
| #3 | Corvo | 1069 | 0.15 | 33 min |
| #4 | Leetify I just wanna die | 611 | 0.17 | 17 min |
| #5 | DeVoN | 516 | 0.06 | 15 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Leetify I just wanna die | +2.07 | 75 | 66 |
| #2 | Pozycz 2 zlote | +1.81 | 49 | 70 |
| #3 | Corvo | +1.41 | 55 | 68 |
| #4 | Poseidon | -0.01 | 57 | 67 |
| #5 | DeVoN | -1.65 | 46 | 57 |





