








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 94 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 98 matches | ||
| Premier | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1587 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,155 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1742 | 34% |
| Smokes | 1626 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 545 | 11% |
| Molotovs | 1242 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $373,338 of utility $110 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 46 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Six0neFive | 80% | 10 |
| #2 | rj | 68% | 22 |
| #3 | HyperU | 67% | 12 |
| #4 | what4ver | 62% | 39 |
| #5 | bob | 56% | 62 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Teno | 7 | 0.0079 |
| #2 | rj | 3 | 0.0068 |
| #3 | bob | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | PDY | 2 | 0.0112 |
| #5 | what4ver | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bob | 340 | 0.26 | 10 min |
| #2 | Teno | 73 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #3 | Hiro | 71 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #4 | what4ver | 66 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | rj | 37 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rj | +4.80 | 90 | 60 |
| #2 | what4ver | +1.80 | 83 | 59 |
| #3 | PDY | +1.43 | 86 | 57 |
| #4 | Teno | +1.40 | 83 | 68 |
| #5 | nax =D | +0.81 | 86 | 66 |





