








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 188 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 230 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 23 matches | ||
| Faceit | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 194 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3228 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,759 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1784 | 17% |
| Smokes | 3338 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 3172 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 2465 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,645,715 of utility $182 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 280 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Umber Eye | 733 | 0.15 | 18 min |
| #2 | ant. | 547 | 0.13 | 15 min |
| #3 | Kasta | 360 | 0.08 | 9 min |
| #4 | Man Love | 219 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #5 | Guardia | 218 | 0.13 | 6 min |





