








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 374 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 223 matches | ||
| Faceit | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 195 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4604 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,040 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2500 | 21% |
| Smokes | 3634 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 3420 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 2486 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,596,046 of utility $177 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 177 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Guardia | 58% | 48 |
| #2 | Wizard_Christopher_Robin | 54% | 26 |
| #3 | Man Love | 54% | 56 |
| #4 | ant. | 53% | 269 |
| #5 | senjokosa | 53% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Sky | 50% | 32 |
| #7 | Walker | 50% | 227 |
| #8 | Umber Eye | 50% | 252 |
| #9 | mish | 49% | 43 |
| #10 | A gay jellyfish | 35% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ant. | 12 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | Umber Eye | 2 | 0.0004 |
| #3 | Walker | 2 | 0.0004 |
| #4 | A gay jellyfish | 2 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | Guardia | 2 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Umber Eye | 777 | 0.15 | 19 min |
| #2 | ant. | 745 | 0.13 | 19 min |
| #3 | Walker | 222 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #4 | Man Love | 172 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #5 | Guardia | 155 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | senjokosa | +2.37 | 88 | 51 |
| #2 | Kasta | +1.82 | 70 | 58 |
| #3 | ant. | +1.32 | 72 | 66 |
| #4 | Wizard_Christopher_Robin | +1.26 | 56 | 79 |
| #5 | Man Love | +0.77 | 76 | 70 |





