








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 399 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 205 matches | ||
| Faceit | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 66 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3736 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,501 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3934 | 25% |
| Smokes | 5101 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 2788 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 3678 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,144,608 of utility $119 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 186 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Walker | 50% | 232 |
| #9 | Kasta | 50% | 252 |
| #10 | A gay jellyfish | 47% | 66 |
| #11 | mish | 42% | 33 |
| #12 | Sky | 42% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ant. | 8 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | Kasta | 8 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | A gay jellyfish | 4 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | Guardia | 4 | 0.0038 |
| #5 | senjokosa | 2 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ant. | 706 | 0.13 | 19 min |
| #2 | Kasta | 386 | 0.07 | 9 min |
| #3 | Walker | 235 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #4 | Man Love | 200 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #5 | senjokosa | 173 | 0.09 | 4 min |





